


Love is a Burning Thing

by Introvertia



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: A Pinch of Angst, Car Wanking, Hand Jobs, Harringrove, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mostly Fluff, Mutual Masturbation, Mutual Pining, One Shot, Recreational Drug Use, Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington Friendship, Soft Boys, Underage Drinking, Valentine's Day Fluff, a little bed sharing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:34:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23084839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Introvertia/pseuds/Introvertia
Summary: Billy lets slip that he's got a crush on someone and Steve is determined to be the greatest wingman in the history of all wingmen, and he's going to help Billy set up the perfect Valentine's Day date. What Steve doesn't know is that he is Billy's crush.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington
Comments: 64
Kudos: 382





	Love is a Burning Thing

**Author's Note:**

> Happy belated Valentine's Day to all my Harringrove readers.

**‘BE MINE’**

**Part 1**

“It’s the lamest holiday of the year.” Steve griped as he crammed little pink boxes of Conversation Heart candies into the display on the front counter at Family Video.

Billy said nothing, he just listened and idly spun a rack of used VHS tapes that were on clearance. Billy looked at Steve as he spun the rack watching the videos flicker by, it almost made it appear as if Steve were standing on a the opposite side of busy street and there were cars racing between them keeping them apart.

“It’s just like, this dumb excuse for the flower shops and Hallmark and, I don’t know whoever, candy companies to rob every sappy sucker blind of their hard earned cash and even worse,make them think that being some kind of Romeo is going to fix their messed up lives.” Steve shook a box of chalky candy hearts and then spiked on counter top like a football.

Billy grunted, he walked over abandoning his spinning rack and picked up the box, he peeled back the lid and poured a couple hearts into his hand.

“I mean, does anyone really mean what they say on Valentine’s Day? Like what about all the other days?” Steve leaned on the counter and scowled.

Billy raised his eye brows looking at the candies in his hand, he set two on the counter. One was stamped in red text with the words, ’BE MINE’ the other read,’ UR CUTE’.

Steve flicked them off the counter without reading them, one landed in a trash bucket and the other on the floor.

“Nice shot.” Billy said.

“Yeah, I missed.” Steve said, walking over and picking up the candy off of the floor and dropping it in the trash.

“What did you do when you were dating Nancy?” Billy asked chewing up little powdery hearts.

“Well, I mean… I took her out of course.” Steve shrugged.

“Yeah, anything else?”

“I mean, I bought her flowers…”

“And?”

“Chocolates.”

“And?”

“A pendant, you know, just a little heart.” Steve sniffed. Looking at the counter, color rising in his cheeks.

“Was it gold?” Billy cocked an eyebrow.

“Well, yeah. I couldn’t get her something that was going to turn her skin green.” Steve said defensively.

“What else?” Billy kept his eyes on Steve.

“I took her to the movies.” Steve confessed.

“So was it a whole night out? With dinner?” Billy stood up straighter watching Steve start to squirm.

“I took her to dinner, it’s what you do right?”

“Where?” Billy shook out more hearts, they were chalky and sweet but he wasn’t sure they were actually flavored, he thought the orange ones might be kind of tangerine flavored.

“What?” Steve asked.

“Where did you take _her_ to _din-ner_?” Billy stressed the last word.

“Hawkins’ Heights Country Club.” Steve mumbled.

“Spared no expense.” Billy needled.

“Well I was younger then, and my parents gave me money, so it’s not like it was a big deal. I’ve learned Billy. I’ve learned that it’s all… it’s all… bullshit. Bullshit.” Steve nodded at a woman who looked over at him, making him aware he’d raised his voice.

Billy turned following Steve’s gaze. The woman, Tammy Thompson’s mother, frowned primly and looked away. Billy pulled at the drawstrings on his hoodie, he moved away from the counter when a customer came to check out rentals. He wandered the aisles when a queue of people appeared at the register and watched from a safe distance as Steve helped the customers. 

“Hi Billy.” Robin said softly.

Robin was accustomed to Billy’s jumpiness, but had made a point of saying hello to him for last two weeks. At first he’d only nodded, but lately he’d say ‘Hey’ or ‘What?’ In a startled tone.

“Hey.” Billy said, he briefly made eye contact, he thought about saying more, but talking to anyone other than Steve made him extremely uncomfortable. _Robin isn’t too bad_ , he tried tor reason with himself.

“Is he still complaining about Valentine’s Day?” Robin asked, keeping her voice low.

“Like a little bitch.” Billy said.

Robin chuckled softly while nodding her head.

“Ever since the Valentine’s day merchandise came in, he’s been going on and on about how it’s such bullshit.”

“Bullshit.” Billy echoed.

“What about you? Do you think it’s bullshit too?” Robin rolled the tape of clearance stickers in her fingers watching Billy, his face was partially obscured by the hood of his sweater.

Billy turned his face and looked at Robin incredulously.

Robin laughed, “Okay, sorry I asked.”

“It’s for girls.” Billy said matter of factly.

“Lucky us.” Robin rolled her eyes.

Billy adjusted a video case on the shelf, and rocked a little on his feet. Robin watched him, he was always moving, small nervous movements.

“So you don’t have a sweetheart?” Robin asked eyeing him thoughtfully.

Billy looked at her wearily.

“I mean, the ladies love you. You know that right? Even after your return from, the great beyond, you’re the man about town. M _ysterious_ Billy Hargrove. You and Steve, you’re both like Hawkins’ most desirable bachelors to the sixteen and up crowd.” Robin leaned against a pillar hoping Billy wouldn’t retreat.

Billy eyed her cautiously, “So why aren’t you and Steve boning?”

“Oh Billy. That’s a very romantic question,” Robin said sarcastically, ”it’ll have to remain one of life’s many great mysteries.”

Billy looked down and said, “Nice tits.”

Robin looked at Billy and was ready to tear into him until she noticed that he was tapping the carpeted floor with the toe of his boot next to the tip of her tennis shoe where she’d doodle a nude torso with boobs. Robin blushed but was also relieved that he was referring to her drawing.

“Seen you around town with that girl, Margaret.” Billy closed his mouth, it was probably the most he’d ever said to her.

“Yeah. What about her?” Robin asked casually.

“She’s hot.” Billy said.

“No shit.” Robin said, “What? You want her number?”

“No.” Billy frowned. “Don’t act like you’d give it to me. I’m not… blind.” Billy said retreating a little.

“I guess not.” Robin’s tone softened.

Billy meandered away, not wanting to say more, but knew he had it right, Robin was a lesbian, he had no doubt in his mind. He would have ridiculed her if he’d found out in high school, or even shortly after that, but now, now he felt no need. He envied her. She wasn’t afraid to be with a girl, but he was afraid to be with a boy, afraid of what would happen if people knew what he was. He was afraid of everything now, he always had been in a way, but it was so much worse now, after the shadow.

The door chimed as people exited the store. He looked over at Steve, Steve was running his hand through his hair with one hand and punching numbers keys on the register with the other, his brow tight, his lips compressed. He looked annoyed. The customer had a flier with a coupon, and was chatting up a storm. Billy watched Steve bite his lip and nodding, clearly not listening. He didn’t have a poker face, all his emotions were as plain as day. Billy liked that about him, he liked it terribly.

************************

Robin waited till she and Steve were closing the shop, Billy had loitered around for a couple hours, like a ghost in the shop. When Billy had first started doing that he made her nervous, silently haunting the isles, but now she kind of liked seeing him there. She liked watching him speak quietly with Steve when no customers were occupying his time. She got used to seeing Billy anytime Steve was working. She’d noticed that Billy would usually shuffle in an hour after Steve started, and would sometimes leave with Steve on his lunch break and then the two of them would return, Steve usually smiling, Billy looking alert and relaxed at his side, till other people came near, then Billy would move away, like a secret tide was pulling him out to sea. Then as soon as Steve had no one near him, he’d move back into Steve’s orbit, and talk to him or help him do his menial tasks. If Keith was around he and Billy reacted to one another like polarized magnets, keeping a good distance, eyeing each other suspiciously. Robin was pretty sure that Keith was afraid of Billy, and wondered what Billy had done to him, if anything. Men like Billy didn’t have to do anything for people to be weary of them. ‘Old’ Billy had been like a lion, brash and loud, roaring and menacing, new Billy was haunted, and had a thousand yard stare that just cut right through you.

“Hey.” Robin said as she was locking the front door, “Did you tell Billy about me?”

“What, what do you mean?” Steve looked at Robin, by his expression she could tell he wasn’t following at all.

“That I like girls?” Robin whispered even though there was no one around to overhear their conversation.

“No, no way. Why?”

“No reason, he just seems to have figured it out.”

“Oh. Are you sure? Did he say something, I saw you guys talking.”

“Yeah, I’m sure he’s figured it out, he wasn’t nasty about it.”

“He’s not really mean anymore, well he still talks shit, but in a joking way, and it’s really rare… Do you want me to tell him to keep his mouth shut about it?”

“You wouldn’t.” Robin said.

“Well, not not like that. But he’s pretty good about keeping secrets. I’d just ask him not to tell anyone.I’m actually really kind of relived he’s talking to you. That’s good… he barely talks to me and Max. He must really like you if he’s talking to you.” Steve nodded and smiled a lopsided little grin.

“You really care about him.” Robin observed.

“He almost died to save El, and the rest of us…” Steve’s chest rose at the thought.

Robin thought Steve looked a little in awe of Billy in that moment.

“I remember.” Robin said looking at Steve.

“Yeah, he’s doing better, I’m really glad we’re friends now.” Steve shrugged.

“He follows you around like a lost dog.” Robin said frankly.

“I don’t mind, he’s just… recovering, you know? He needs,” Steve paused thinking.

“You?” Robin arched an eyebrow.

“I wouldn’t say that, but he just,” Steve paused thinking.

“Really likes being near you?” Robin suggested.

“Sure, sure, I guess?” Steve shook his head, looking confused.

Steve walked to his car and unlocked the passenger door for Robin before walking around and getting in the driver’s seat.

Can you drop me off at Margaret’s house?” Robin pulled down the sun visor and checked her eyeliner in the mirror.

“Hot date?” Steve teased.

“It’s Margaret, of course it’s going to be a hot date.” Robin’s expression bloomed into a Cheshire Cat’s grin.

“That’s my girl.” Steve said starting the engine.

**The List**

**Part 2**

Steve was begrudgingly shoveling the drive way. Normally his parents would hire one of the local kids, but his father was on a ‘earn your rent’ kick, so Steve was saddled with the tedious chore. It was going to snow again later, according to the weatherman on the news. Steve had hoped that his father wouldn’t remind him to go shovel the drive, but at breakfast he’d made a point of telling Steve.

“That snow won’t shovel itself, make sure you take care of the drive way, and the sidewalk too.” His father had said as he rose from the table and clapped his hand on Steve’s back.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m on it.” Steve had mumbled chewing the inside of his cheek.

“See that you are, son.” His father had said in his ‘stern’ voice.

Steve had gotten into the rhythm of the scrape, lift, swing back and toss. He was getting hot from the exertion, and starting to get a good pace going when he noticed a pair of boots walk up the sidewalk before him. He instantly recognized Billy’s army surplus jump boots.

“Hey!” Steve reached up and pulled back his head phones, smiling at Billy.

“Hey.” Billy said, he lifted a cigarette to his lips, he was wearing fingerless gloves, his cheeks and nose were pink, he had a beanie shoved down to his black eyebrows, and was wearing a particularly grumpy expression.

“You okay?” Steve smiled. He felt a little flutter in his stomach, he hadn’t expected to see Billy this early in the day. Typically when Billy appeared at Steve’s house it was after sunset, like a vampire he came around when the sun dipped down below the horizon, silent and staring with bright damp eyes that had a vaguely hungry look to them.

“Fucking cold.” Billy stated.

“Yep.” Steve nodded, “You want to go in, I just need to finish this. The coast is clear.” Steve said, meaning his parents weren’t home.

“Okay.” Billy walked around him and went into the house.

Billy walked inside to the warm house, he pulled off his beanie and gloves and went into the kitchen. He made a peanut butter and jam sandwich and poured himself a glass of milk. The house was big and tidy, with fancy appliances and marble counters. Billy listened to the faint sound of Steve shoveling the driveway, the slicing sound of the shovel on the icee concrete put his teeth on edge. Billy made a second sandwich and then went upstairs to Steve’s room to eat. He sat on the floor and looked around the room. It was first time he’d been in there alone. Usually he’d just hover around Steve in whatever room he was in. He’d been a little surprised that Steve had invited him to go in alone, but also grateful to be out of the cold.

He got up and walked around the room taking bites of his sandwich. He slid open Steve’s bedside drawer, there was a little bottle of lube, but no skin mags. Near the back of the drawer was a journal, Billy was surprised. He put down his sandwich and opened the little book. Inside was Steve’s childish scrawl, it was far from salacious, a list of cars, some phone numbers with different names by them, Robin, Hop, Jonathan’s name had two numbers by it, the local one scratched out, Dustin’s name was in there too, as well as Max’s, which Billy hadn’t expected. He turned a few pages, half listening for the sound of the front door opening. There was a list of motorcycles, some directions to towns around the area. A half hearted budget took up a couple pages, with a note of “FUCK EVERYTHING!!!” At the bottom of the page. He saw his name at the top of the next page and opened the journal wider to read.

BILLY

Don’t touch him

Don’t make loud noises

Don’t ask about his father

Don’t talk about the incident, but listen if he does

He hates fireworks!

He likes:

Red vines

Coke (Classic of course)

Cherry Coke

Marlboro Reds

Long drives? (He seemed to that one time)

Billy looked at the page, there was no date, but it had to be recent, he turned the pages feeling his heart flutter.

Places we should go. Quiet places he might like???

The quarry at night, this summer - far from fucking fireworks

Morgan Monroe State Park - does he like the woods? Camping?

The coast, maybe Florida, or California (set aside some cash!)

Billy was still reading when he heard Steve in the hallway, he dropped the journal in the drawer and slammed it shut, he spun around and saw Steve come in, his cheeks rosy from the cold, Steve pulled off his headphones and looked at Billy quizzically.

“Sorry.” Steve said, noticing Billy looked anxious, “I should have knocked or something.”

Billy picked up his sandwich and took a bite saying nothing. He could feel himself blushing so he turned away and looked at Steve’s framed poster.

“No books.” Billy said, letting his eyes travel around the room.

“Do you want to read?” Steve asked curiously.

“No.”

“I’m kinda hungry.” Steve said shrugging off his heavy jacket.

Billy piked up his plate and shoved it at Steve.

“Oh, thanks.” Steve picked up the sandwich and took a bite.

Billy grabbed his half full glass of milk and handed it to Steve.

Steve accepted it and took a drink. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and looked around his room as if he was seeing it for the first time, “So, what do you want to do?”

Billy shrugged in response.

“TV?”

“Nah.”

“Do you want to get stoned?” Steve crouched down and reached under his bed and pulled out a small wooden box.

Steve looked at Billy curiously, he’d never gotten stoned with him, he wasn’t sure if it was a good idea, considering Billy was already paranoid.

“Yes.” Billy said clearly when he saw Steve hesitate.

“Let’s do it.” Steve laughed lightly, “But let me go get some water, I get so damn thirsty, do you want anything from the kitchen? Chips, or Oreos?”

Billy nodded. He wanted to snoop around some more but he decided it would be safer if he just followed Steve downstairs. Billy watched as Steve loaded his arms, he grabbed couple pint glasses and handed them to Billy when his arms were full of chips, cookies and plastic container of Red Vines.

“This should keep us.” Steve smiled.

“You like Red Vines?” Billy asked thinking of the list Steve had made.

“Yeah, don’t you?” Steve looked a little worried.

“Yeah.” Billy nodded and turned away heading up to Steve’s room.

**The Secret**

**Part 3**

“I have a secret.” Billy murmured through the haze of pot smoke.

Billy sat down on the edge of Steve’s bed heavily, he hadn’t been stoned since before the shadow, he felt okay though. He looked out the window at the pale light shining in, Steve walked over and opened the window and fanned out some of the smoke, he lit a stick of incense and set it precariously on the edge of his desk under the base of a trophy. Billy wondered if he’d said I have a secret aloud or just thought it, he wasn’t sure.

“I have a secret?” Billy repeated, listening to the words, feeling his tongue work and the sizzle on the ’s’ sound in _see_ -cret.

“Yeah?” Steve said, he took a drag off of the joint they’d been sharing and held his breath, his eyes sparkling.

Billy stood up and walked over, he placed his palms on the sides of Steve’s face, not touching him, but holding them just an inch or two from his cheeks. Steve held very still for a long moment, to Billy it felt like an eternity, holding his hands still he could feel the heat from Steve’s skin radiating on to his open palms.

Steve gently blew a slow narrow stream of smoke into Billy’s face, his lids lowered, his gaze on Billy’s lips.

Billy inhaled slowly, never wanting it to end. He drew in the smoke through his mouth, and held it briefly before exhaling through his nose. He lowered his hands from the air, without touching Steve’s face. He watched Steve’s pursed lips form a dreamy smile, watched Steve’s tongue as it lazily swiped at his plump bottom lip before he said in a husky tone, “You look like a dragon, doesn’t that burn your nose?”

“Not really.” Billy said still looking at Steve’s mouth.

“So, what’s your secret?” Steve sauntered over to the bed and flopped on his side, he grabbed coffee cup off the top of the headboard and flicked a little bit of ash from the dwindling joint into it.

“My secret?” Billy had forgotten he’d said he had one.

Billy sat down heavily on the edge of the bed, and then flopped over near Steve. Billy could feel the warmth coming off Steve’s body and wanted to touch him, but didn’t, instead he ran his palms over the comforter feeling the smooth cotton, and then over his belly under his hooded sweater and his thermal shirt under that taking in the varying textures of his scars. He felt his fingers on his skin, he traced the maze of new scars on his torso while staring at the ceiling imagining what it would be like if Steve’s fingers were the ones caressing his skin. Billy heard Steve laugh and lazily turned his head to look at him.

“You said you have a secret, are you gonna share with the class Mr Hargrove?” Steve wore a bemused expression.

“My secret…” Billy blinked slowly, and sighed, still running his fingers along the ridges of raised skin low on his belly, just above the waist of his jeans. Billy tilted his head looking at Steve’s big brown eyes.

“I have a crush…” Billy smirked, fighting a giggle, and beneath that an undercurrent of anxiety.

“Who?” Steve’s eyes blinked quickly, he hauled himself up looking a bewildered.

Billy tried to say ‘you’, but he couldn’t get the word out, he shook his head slowly.

“Are you going to tell me who?” Steve leaned over him, resting his palm on the mattress near Billy’s head.

“It’s no big deal.” Billy looked up at Steve’s face floating above him.

Impulsively Billy reached up and tugged Steve’s collar gently. He wanted to pull Steve on top of himself, he wanted to grab him and roll on top of him and see what happened next, he had a parade of ideas, most of them involving stripping Steve naked.

“Of course it’s a big deal.” Steve moved his hand to rest it on Billy’s and then remembered it was best not to touch him, it made him flinch, or worse, Billy would leave and not come around for days.

“I…” Billy paused feeling a little too stoned to continue the conversation.

“You like someone, and Valentine’s Day is coming.” Steve said.

Steve’s eyes somehow got bigger as he spoke, and he got a look on his face that Billy didn’t quite recognize.

“Who?” Steve asked.

“What is this, an interrogation?” Billy grumbled, he reached up with his right hand and hooked his index finger carefully on the knit collar of Steve’s sweater, he’d finished tugging at the polo shirt collar under that, the texture was really fuzzy Billy discovered, Billy ran his finger back and fourth over a couple inches enjoying the sensation. Enjoying keeping Steve’s attention.

“No, no of course not. It’s just that, as your friend,” Steve spoke slowly choosing his words with care, he could feel the body-heat rising off of Billy and it was messing with his focus, and making him want to move much, much closer. “It’s kind of like, my job, you know… to be your wing-man,” Steve swallowed slowly looking into Billy’s bright glossy eyes, his dark lashes, his nearly vanished summer freckles.

“Well, I haven’t told,” Billy started to speak, he nearly said ‘him’, but was cut off.

“You haven’t told her?” Steve licked his lips, his eyes on Billy’s mouth.

“No?” Billy raised his eyebrows, thinking maybe just one kiss wouldn’t be so bad, maybe that would be a good way to get over touching people, he could just start with kissing Steve’s lips…

“Well.” Steve said, his cheeks started burning, “It’s not Robin is it?”

“Uh, no. Not into… blondes.”

“Vicki?”

“God no.” Billy rolled his eyes.

“Tina?” Steve asked doubtfully.

“Right hair color.” Billy smirked.

“Wrong girl?” Steve asked, his wheels were spinning, his eyes darting left to right in thought.

“You’re gonna blow a gasket.” Billy released a soft throaty laugh, his sparkling eyes dancing over Steve’s face.

“What?” Steve looked at Billy, completely forgetting what they were talking about, he hadn’t heard that laugh since before the incident, and he’d never realized how sexy it was.

“You…” Billy started and stopped, he cleared his throat, “I’m too stoned for this.”

“We’re gonna make this happen.” Steve said as he laid back next to Billy.

“Make what happen?” Billy sighed, sorry that Steve was no longer hovering over him.

“You and your crush are going to have the greatest Valentine’s Day.”

“I though you hated Valentine’s Day, it’s all a capitalistic plot to take your money?” Billy tilted his head looking over at Steve.

Steve had a far away look in his eyes, “It’s happening Billy, and there’s no turning back.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Billy asked, worried he knew the answer.

“The best Valentine’s Day in the history of Valentine’s Days.”

“You are _so_ stoned.” The corner’s of Billy’s mouth curled lightly as he spoke.

“Yeah.” Steve admitted.

Billy sluggishly sat up and reached for the bag of Oreos, he opened the bag and sighed, half relieved that Steve had finally dropped the topic and a little frustrated with himself for bringing it up, and then chickening out on telling Steve that HE was Billy’s crush.

“Let’s watch a movie!” Steve sat up suddenly, startling Billy.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry.” Steve mumbled sliding off the side of the bed, “I just really want to watch this movie…” Steve grabbed his video of Top-Secret and shoved it in his VCR that was hooked up to a small color TV that he’d put on his desk.

“Can you see it okay, maybe I should move the bed.” Steve stared at his bed and then looked back at the TV.

“We can sit on the floor.” Billy suggested.

“Nooo, it’s too hard.” Steve whined.

“I can see it fine from here. “ Billy leaned back on headboard, he moved a few of Steve’s pillows making himself comfortable and scooted over so Steve had plenty of room.

Steve fussed with the TV, then grabbed the end of the desk and dragged it a foot closer to the bed.

“Preview time.” Steve announced jumping onto the bed.

“What’s with you?” Billy asked, amused and feeling a little dizzy, he wasn’t sure if it was the pot or just being alone with Steve in his room and on his bed.

“Me? Nothing, nothing… just you know. I’m really, it’s just cool man, it’s so cool that you like someone.” Steve smiled and blinked slowly like a sleepy cat.

Steve crawled over and sat up next to Billy, leaving a space between them, though he didn’t want to, not at all.

As the movie started playing Steve watched the images flickering by taking in none of it. He stole glances at Billy’s hands. Billy was rubbing his palms together, and then pulling at the drawstrings on his hoodie.

“Do you like Val Kilmer?” Billy mumbled the question.

“He’s so funny in this, he’s so funny.” Steve smiled and shook his head and looked at Billy.

“Yeah.” Billy nodded.

Billy wondered how he could get more of a response, how he could ask if Steve thought Val was hot, without showing his hand.

“What about, Rob Lowe?”

“I mean, he’s pretty cool, you know he gets, like, like some serious roles too. He’s more than just like a face, you know, more than a guy… with a face.” Steve fixed Billy with a meaningful expression.

Billy raised his eyebrows and then turned his face away, stifling a laugh.

“No, I’m serious, like, he’s good. You know?” Steve closed his eyes and leaned back, “Like in the Outsiders, and Class, I mean, Class is a comedy right, so not so deep or whatever, not really meaningful, but he’s acting, but you can’t tell he’s acting, it’s like you’re just watching this guy, live his life, but then it’s really kind of stupid, I mean the premise…”

“I’ve never seen Class.” Billy said.

“You’re not missing anything.” Steve admitted, “But, you know. He’s hot and all that, like really cool, but not as cool as Tom Cruise.”

“So who’s hotter?”

“Rob.” Steve said decisively.

Billy nodded, “Why?”

“Uhm those eyes, they’re like crystals, you know?”

“You like blue eyes?”Billy turned his face from the TV screen and looked at Steve.

“I mean, who doesn’t, but it’s not just like… anyone’s blue eyes. There has to be, something, something inside, like…” Steve blinked slowly staring intently into Billy’s eyes.

“Like what?” Billy asked.

“Like fire.” Steve said slowly.

“I prefer brown eyes.” Billy said as he leaned just a hair closer to Steve.

“Do you?” Steve asked quickly.

“They’re my favorite.” Billy said, “Big brown eyes, they’re sexy.”

Steve raised his eyebrows slowly, his lips parted, he was mesmerized by Billy’s bright eyes, he could smell the soap on Billy’s skin, the shampoo in his hair under the fog of pot and cigarette smoke. Steve felt his heart punch up its pace.

“Does your crush have brown eyes?”

“The biggest doe eyes I’ve ever seen.” Billy said in a breathless whisper.

“What else?” Steve asked and swallowed slowly.

“About my crush?”

“Yeah.” Steve said.

“Legs for days, a great ass, the kind you want to bite.” Billy smirked.

Steve smiled at that, “Kinky.”

Billy rolled his eyes.

“What else?” Steve asked and reached over and pulled lightly on the drawstring of Billy’s hood, he told himself it wasn’t a big deal, that he wasn’t touching Billy, he wasn’t flirting or anything.

“Uh, he’s, she’s, she’s really sweet, and kind of funny, but not on purpose, just kind of oh…” Billy hesitated, looking away.

“Tell me. I want to know all about her.”

“Why?”

“Because…” Steve leaned back and tilted his head up to the ceiling.

Billy stared at Steve’s neck, he wanted to run his index finger down one long vein that rose near the surface, he wanted to feel Steve’s pulse under the thin layer of delicate flesh.

“Because I need to plan your date, you’re going to have an amazing date.” Steve smiled brightly.

“Huh.”

“Trust me, I’m good at this, like really, really good at this.” Steve released the drawstring and slid off the side of his bed, he walked over to his desk and started rolling another joint.

“So what does she like?” Steve turned peeking at Billy over his shoulder.

“I don’t know.” Billy said, feeling the fool for having brought it up.

“Do you talk to her?”

“Yeah.”

“Since the, since you got out of the hospital?” Steve glanced over his shoulder again, worried he was going to annoy Billy.

“Yeah.” Billy nodded, he watched the movie buying himself time, hoping Steve’s focus would shift.

Steve glanced at the screen and laughed at the shenanigans happening, his fingers rolling a second joint.He held up the joint to his lips.

Billy watched Steve’s tongue slide up the side of the joint, wetting the paper deftly.

“It’s like you were born to do that.” Billy said watching Steve’s pink tongue at work.

“Practice makes perfect.” Steve said and chuckled at his own joke.

“No kidding.” Billy replied and licked his lips.

Billy could feel his dick plumping in his jeans, he casually ran his hand over his crotch and for a brief instant felt like his old self, cocksure and horny.

Steve’s eyes dipped to Billy’s crotch and a slow sly smile touched his lips. He lit up the joint and blew on the tip, firing up the cherry. Steve took a drag and then a second one and held the smoke in his lungs he walked over to where Billy was reclined. Steve gestured with his fingers for Billy to lean closer. Billy scooted to the edge of the bed, his legs hanging over the edge. Steve stepped closer, till he felt the toes of Billy’s boots touch the sides of his knees.

Billy held his hands on either side of Steve’s face, the same hovering closeness as before, caressing the air on either side of Steve’s mouth.

Steve watched Billy’s eyes lower in anticipation of the coming smoke. Steve exhaled slowly, and observed hungrily as Billy inhaled the escaping smoke, Steve leaned in till their lips were less than an inch apart. Steve closed his eyes and felt Billy’s lips brush his.

Steve shivered, but held still, he exhaled until he was out of breath, not wanting Billy to move away.

Billy leaned back, till he was resting against the head board, he held the smoke in his lungs till it was burning and his eyes were watering. He exhaled slowly into Steve’s face, he watched as Steve inhaled, his lips held in a delectable ‘O’ shape. Time seemed frozen, inconsequential and endless. No longer a commodity of seconds and minutes but an endless space of existence filled with sensations and experiences.

Steve moved to the foot of the bed and climbed up next to Billy, he rested his back on the headboard feeling high and hungry, but not for food.

Billy reached over and took the joint from Steve’s fingers, “Where’d you get this?”

Billy took a drag, his mouth feeling dry and tacky.

“Jonathan, it’s the last of it. He used to sell to me.”

Billy squinted, and exhaled slowly looking at Steve. “You bought weed from the guy that stole your girl?”

“He didn’t steal her.”

That’s not what Tommy and Carol said, from what I heard, she dumped you for him, what a bitch.”

“She didn’t love me.” Steve said quietly.

“Wasn’t he stalking her?” Billy shook his head, he couldn’t imagine what Nancy saw in Jonathan, especially in comparison to Steve.

“He was looking for a demogorgon, it just, it was complicated. They suit each other you know? I know he’s moved but, I think, I think they’re good together.” Steve took the joint carefully from Billy’s fingers.

Billy rubbed his palms together, the mood had shifted dramatically, he could feel it in the room, the energy between them had changed.

“I need water.” Billy said.

“I’ll get it.” Steve got up before Billy could, and grabbed the two empty pint glasses he’d brought up from the kitchen and walked out of the room silently.

Billy rubbed his hands over his face, he fisted his eyes rubbing them hard. He felt too stoned, he wanted to leave, but the thought of walking home was overwhelming. He curled up on his side and regretted bringing up Jonathan, and Nancy and Carol, and Tommy. He didn’t care about any of them, he didn’t care if Nancy was a bitch, or that Jonathan was a creep, he only cared about Steve, and he’d just bummed him out.

“Hey, you okay? Drink some water.” Steve was hovering over Billy.

Billy wanted to say he was sorry, but if he started saying he was sorry he’d never stop, he was sorry for so many things. He sat up and took the glass of water and drank it down til there was nothing left in the glass.

“Maybe I should go?” Billy sighed, sitting up straighter.

“No, no way. It’s snowing again.” Steve reached over and fixed the pillows, “Just hang out, here,” Steve handed Billy some red vines. “We’ve gotta plan your big date.”

“Fuck it.”

“No, no.” Steve said gently laying down beside Billy, “You’re going on a date, you’re gonna take this girl out and she’s gonna be all over you before the night is done.”

Billy grunted.

“Wait, do you even want her, I mean like that? You know, it seems like you don’t really like being touched.” Steve reached over Billy and picked up his glass of water and drank several gulps before handing it to Billy, “Here, drink this too.”

Billy took Steve’s glass and drained it. He set it down on the headboard, feeling oddly at home, just laying there, being stoned and speaking quietly with Steve. Billy turned on his side till he was facing Steve.

“If it was him, I wouldn’t mind.” Billy mumbled.

“Him?” Steve repeated slowly.

Steve closed his eyes slowly, his brow drawing tight, he opened his eyes and saw Billy’s expression, his eyes were closed tightly, his lips working silently.

“Her.” Billy managed to say.

“Do you have a crush on a dude?” Steve asked.

Billy pulled his hoodie down low, he scratched at the scar on his right cheek bone, he didn’t want to lie, he also didn’t want Steve to hate him.

“Does _he_ like guys?” Steve asked.

“Not sure, don’t think so.” Billy said.

“I mean, I don’t, like it’s not a big deal, If you’re into a guy. I mean, I’ve kind of, there have, there was a guy.”

“What guy?” Billy asked, he stopped pulling on his hood at looked at Steve feeling a flutter of hope.

“There was a guy that I kind of had thing with… I mean it wasn’t too serious.” Steve mumbled.

“Bullshit.”

“ _Not_ bullshit.”

“Who?”

“Robert.” Steve admitted.

“Robert Paulsen?”

  
“No, he’s a dick.” Steve shook his head.

“Robert Wright?”

“Jesus Billy, no. Robert Crawford, he’s at college now, he’s got a sports scholarship. We, I don’t know, he’s like twenty-one now, we don’t talk anymore.”

“Robert Crawford.” Billy said the name like a curse. He hated him, he didn’t know who he was, but the thought that he’d been with Steve, doing whatever, made Billy want to find him and knock his teeth out.

“So you like dick but you date girls.” Billy said matter of factly feeling a spike of recognition anda glimmer of hope.

“I like both.” Steve said.

“No shit.” Billy let out a low chuckle.

“So this guy, that you like, you’re not sure if he’s into guys.” Steve said redirecting the conversation.

“When did this happen?”

“I was fifteen, it was summer… like a summer thing, a summer fling, I guess.” Steve pulled a pillow over his face.

“Sounds like it was a good summer.”

“It was alright.” Steve said into the pillow.

“Did you guys, you know…” Billy asked.

Steve lowered the pillow and looked at Billy.

Billy held his fist to his mouth and gestured like he was sucking a dick, complete with squelching sounds.

“Dude.” Steve turned bright red and looked away.

The sound of the front door opening startled them both. Steve’s father’s voice could be heard in the hallway, he was complaining about something, Steve heard the sound of his mother’s high heels clicking along the tiled entrance.

“Oh shit.” Steve sat up and grabbed the joint and took a long draw as he slid off the bed and crushed it out in a little coin tray. He threw open his window and turned off the TV. He grabbed a second stick of incense and lit it.

“Don’t worry, they won’t come in here. I don’t think.”

“Is your dad gonna flip out?” Billy was standing by the bed, didn’t even remember standing up, his head was swimming. His heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest.

Steve shrugged and grabbed a magazine out off the top of his desk and started flapping at the smoke, trying to air out the room.

“Does he? Is he going to?” Billy’s eyes bulged a little.

“No, no, just relax, take a breath it’s okay.” Steve spoke in a whisper.

Steve went to the door and put his ear to it listening to his parents. He didn’t hear anything for a long time and then the sound of the kitchen radio came on, he could hear his mother’s heels clicking in the kitchen.

Billy went to Steve’s closet door and opened it, he stepped in and sat down and closed the door after himself. He could feel himself panicking. He took several long gulping breaths, his fingers were shaking with adrenaline. He didn’t want Steve to see him panic, but he also couldn’t imagine facing an angry father, not anyones’.

Steve looked at the closet door and wasn’t sure what to do, he took a step forward and then heard a soft knock on his bedroom door.

“Yeah?” Steve said hoarsely.

“Honey we’re home, the Collins are coming over for cocktails, did you eat dinner?”

“Yep, yeah. I ate, I’m just going to um, go to bed early.”

“Okay honey.” His mother’s voice was already moving down the hall.

Steve rested his head against the door and released a long sighing breath.

Billy was trying to remember what Doc Owens had told him to do if he had a panic attack, he was supposed to breath, he was supposed to remind himself that he was safe. He didn’t feel safe. The closet door was pulled open slowly and Steve poked his head in.

“Hey.” Steve said, he opened the door a little wider and slid in. He sat down on the floor next to Billy, it was a bit of a squeeze. He shoved a couple shoe boxes out of the closet, and sat lotus next to Billy. Their knees brushed lightly, but Billy didn’t recoil.

“Are you okay?” Steve asked as he pulled the door shut.

Billy nodded, but quickly realized that Steve couldn’t see him in the dark. Billy reached over in the dark and felt for Steve’s arm, he took hold of Steve’s hand in the dark and gripped it. It was the first time he’d really touched anyone. He’d been poked and prodded by doctors, X-rayed more times than he could count, examined and re-examined being handled with clinical indifference. He felt Steve’s hand close tightly around his.

“It’s okay.” Steve whispered, “Everything’s okay.”

“Okay.” Billy managed to say.

When Steve said everything was okay, it didn’t feel hollow to Billy. It felt real, he was okay, as long as Steve was there, as long as he wasn’t alone there in the dark. No one was going to come and scream in his face, no one was going to shove him and berate and belittle him. Billy feltSteve’s thumb gently stroke the back of his hand, it moved in a gentle circle. Billy let himself lean into Steve, he rested his head on Steve’s shoulder and sat in the small dark space of the closet.

Billy didn’t exactly sleep, but for the second time that day, time seemed inconsequential, the only thing that mattered was that he was there next to Steve. The sound of people arriving, and their voices rose from the first floor through the floor and drifted down the hallway. Billy didn’t mind the murmurs and occasional laughter. He focused on the steady soft sound of Steve breathing. Steve turned his head and Billy waited for him to speak, but Steve said nothing, just rested his head on Billy’s. For a timeless span they sat in the closet, unmoving and cocooned in a comforting darkness.

“My legs are asleep.” Steve said softly.

Billy blinked, feeling confused for a moment, he’d drifted off to sleep, he could hear a woman’s voice, from another room.

“I fell asleep.” Billy mumbled sitting up slowly.

“I think I did too.” Steve said.

Billy heard the closet door click open, the room was dimly lit by the lamp that was next to Steve’s bed. Billy slowly unfolded himself as Steve clumsily rose to his feet, he was still holding onto Billy’s hand, their palms had grown slightly dewey from the constant contact. Steve gently hauled Billy onto his feet and drew him out of the closet, “Come lay down, let’s stretch out a bit. Okay?”

“Yeah.” Billy agreed still feeling body heavy from the pot they’d been smoking. They crawled onto the bed and Billy thought it was the softest thing he’d ever laid into, he felt as if he’d keep sinking into it and right through the floor.

Steve mumbled something about the window still being opened but didn’t get up to close it.

“Let’s get under the blankets.” Steve suggested.

Billy nodded but didn’t move.

Steve reached over to the side of the bed and pulled over the edge of the blanket, half covering Billy with one side and then turned on his side and pulled up the other edge of the blanket. There was a little space between them, and Steve wondered if Billy would mind if he held him, he didn’t dare, despite how badly he wanted to.

Billy drifted into a deep slumber, thinking about Steve, about how much he craved him, how no matter how close they’d become he wanted to be closer, he wanted to be more than friends.

**What Now?**

**Part 4**

Billy woke up with a dull headache, he peered at the ceiling half expecting to have awoken in a hospital bed but the memory and the reality of being in Steve’s bed came flooding back to him. He turned on his side, and found himself alone in the bed. He was covered in a heavy comforter, the window was shut. The room was warm and stuffy, but he didn’t mind, he was just glad to be there. He thought of his father, and knew that he wouldn’t care that he hadn’t come home. His dad hardly looked at him these days, treated him like a ghost, which was in some ways preferable to how things had been before, but yet it still stung. It still hurt to be ignored, although he’d wished for it many times before. He heard the door open and looked over, feeling a thrill of panic, afraid it would be Steve’s dad, but was immediately relieved when he saw Steve coming in. The scent of bacon and toast arrived with Steve. He had a plate balanced on one hand a two coffee mugs precariously gripped in one hand.

“You hungry?” Steve asked as he shut the door with his heel.

“Starving.” Billy croaked.

Steve walked over and set the cups down, Billy reached over and picked up one of the steaming mugs and sipped at the black coffee. Steve had a plate laden with scrambled eggs, toast, and a pile of bacon. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out two forks. He held one out to Billy.

“I’ve gotta go to work, but I can take you home first.”

“Oh.” Billy lowered the cup from his lips and looked at Steve feeling sheepish, he blushed, feeling like a an unwanted house guest.

“I’ve got time, let’s eat.” Steve said as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

Billy grabbed a slice of toast and bit into it, the toast was warm and heavy with butter, he licked his lips and nodded appreciating the texture and savoring the buttery toasted wheat bread. The bread at home was never this good.

Steve sipped from his coffee cup, he set the plate down between them and they ate quickly, both of them hungry. After they ate they bumbled down the stairs and into the chilly February air, both of them still feeling a little stoned.

The world was too bright and too cold to focus on for Billy. Steve opened the passenger door first, as if Billy was his date, and Billy leaned across the driver’s seat to unlock the door, like a considerate date would. The ride to Billy’s house was quiet, the radio was on low and between a couple songs a DJ was chattering in a hyperactive cheery voice, thebuzz of his voice was humming like a fly in the speakers. Billy couldn’t focus on anything. He just leaned back in the passenger seat and rested his eyes, not wanting to ever arrive home.

Steve pulled up into the driveway at the Hargrove household. He rolled to a stop behind Billy’s battered Camaro and reached over and silenced the radio.

“I’ll be working till six, if you want to stop by the shop, and then if that’s not a good time, um after, you know I’ll be home by six-thirty, if you want to hang out, just come by.” Steve said casually.

“Okay.” Billy said.

“So, I’ll see you tonight?” Steve asked.

“Uh, yeah.” Billy nodded.

“Cool, see you later.” Steve tapped the steering wheel, he glanced at Billy and then looked down at his lap, feeling as nervous as if he’d just asked someone on a date.

Billy nodded and got out of the car. He walked up the steps to the door and looked back at Steve, not expecting anything, but was glad to see that Steve hadn’t moved the car. He watched as Steve raised his hand in farewell before reversing down the driveway.

************************

Steve walked up to the shop as Robin was unlocking the front door. She was wrapped in a puffy winter jacket, her sand colored hair covered with a thick wool cap. She looked at him and nodded.

“You’re on time.” Robin said.

“Well yeah.” Steve shrugged, he wiped his nose, the cold was making it run.

All of Steve’s movements felt exaggerated, he knew it was just the pot, but he also felt weirdly wired. He’d wanted to kiss Billy the night before, wanted to kiss him in the car when he’d dropped him off and if Billy was standing right there in front of him, inside of Family Video, he’d want to kiss him, even in front of Robin.

“Don’t make it sound like you’re not late every Saturday.” Robin shook her head.

“I mean, I get here before we open.” Steve responded, losing the day dream of making out with Billy in the isles of Family Video.

“Yeah. Barely.” Robin snorted stepping inside.

“I need to talk to you.” Steve said quickly.

“About what?” Robin twisted the key in the door and went inside.

“I uh… things, stuff.” Steve felt his sneaker catch on the threshold, he was definitely still stoned.

“That’s kind of the basic criteria for a conversation.” Robin said as she beelined to the switch for the heater. “It’s freezing in here,I’m pretty sure it’s colder in here, than it is out there.”

After turning on the heater, Robin waked over to the register and started counting out the cash, and sorting the checks from the night before, putting together a deposit.

“So what do you want to talk about?” She asked distractedly.

“Uh.” Steve looked around and didn’t know where to start.

He wanted to tell her all about Billy, about the night before, about how Billy liked someone and it was a guy, but Steve had no idea which guy.

“Have you seen Billy talking to anyone?” Steve asked.

“Billy, no. He barely talks to me. I’ve only seen him talk to you and Max.”Robin glanced up from the calculator and looked at Steve curiously.

“You haven’t seen him hanging around with anyone have, you? I mean, like anyone?”

“No. What’s going on?”

“Uh, well nothing.” Steve shrugged.

“So that’s it, you wanted to talk to me about Billy not talking to anyone?” Robin rubbed her palms together, she adjusted the bracelet on her wrist, it was new, Margret had given it to her the night before.

“Well he must be talking to someone.” Steve said.

“Do you mean like a shrink?” Robin stuffed the cash for deposit into a bag and set out the ledger for the days’ rentals.

“No, like someone from around town, well they might not be a local.”

“You’re being very cryptic.” Robin said.

She sounded a little impatient to Steve.

“Do you think he’s been talking to like, government spooks?” Robin asked.

“No, no.”

“Steve, help me out here. I’ve not seen Billy talk to anyone but you.”

“He likes someone.” Steve said exasperatedly.

“Oh wow. That’s great. Who?” Robin perked up.

“I don’t know!” Steve groaned.

“Oh, I see, I see.” Robin nodded. “Did you ask him who?”

“He’s being secretive.” Steve pulled on his work vest looking like a petulant child.

“Who knew Billy Hargrove could be shy about a crush.” Robin said, clearly amused. “Honestly Steve, Billy’s been through some serious shit. I’m just glad he’s comfortable talking to you. He seems really shell shocked.”

“He’s getting better.” Steve said, thinking about sitting next to Billy in the closet, holding his hand in the dark.

“Yeah.” Robin nodded walking around from the counter and switching on all the overhead lights. “We almost had a conversation the other day.”

“Did he mention anyone?” Steve looked at Robin like she was being difficult.

“No, he barely spoke. I told you about that.”Robin shook her head lightly, she didn’t know why Steve seemed so upset.

“Yeah.” Steve admitted.

“Can you get the sign. Are you okay?” Robin tossed the keys at Steve.

“Totally.” Steve said as he caught the keys.

Steve was surprised to see a few early birds at the door, it was nine in the morning on a Saturday and freezing, no one in their right mind should be out of bed. He swung open the door and stepped back, letting in a mother and her two kids, followed by a rather rumpled looking Mr Clark.

“Good morning.” Mr Clark smiled but he looked tired around the eyes.

“Morning.” Steve said.

Steve moved about the shop, taking tasks off his list, he wanted desperately to talk to Robin about Billy, but there was work to be done, and Keith had come in, and then there were lunch breaks and more customers and the more Steve thought about the whole thing the more ridiculous he felt. He couldn’t tell Robin that Billy had a crush on a guy, even if she was a lesbian, it wasn’t like he could just go around blabbing Billy’s secrets… even if Robin was most likely the only person in Hawkins that Steve was positive would be one-hundred-percent cool about it.

“Who the hell is he.” Steve muttered aloud, trying to imagine who could be Billy’s crush.

“Who is who?” Keith asked.

Steve glanced up from the stack of videos that he was supposed to be shelving but had just been carrying them up and down the aisles.

“Uh,” Steve glanced down at the tape, “Charles Aznavour?”

“He’s an actor and a composer and he has no business being in the action section.” Keith said putting his hands on his hips.

“I was just wondering.”

“To the French film section.” Keith pointed at the International Film display cases.

“Right.” Steve didn’t argue, he was just glad he didn’t have to explain why he was talking to himself, or stay there next to Keith and have yet another agonizing conversation with him.

Steve thought maybe Billy had met someone at the hospital, maybe there was an orderly or a physical therapist, or a nurse. Steve started imagining Billy’s crush. He bet the guy’s hair wasn’t as nice as Steve’s, but he had big brown eyes, and long legs and an ass you want to bite… Billy had said as much.

By his lunch break he was wondering if once Billy and his crush got together if Billy would just disappear on him. It wasn’t uncommon, people just got sucked into their relationships. It was all about their girlfriend or boyfriend and then, well… Steve would be just a third wheel. He dropped his sandwich in the trash, he’d lost his appetite.

**The Plan**

**Part 5**

Billy threw a stone at Steve’s window. The light was on, he hoped Steve was in there. Billy had arrived a little after nine, but the lights downstairs had been on and Steve’s parents’ car was in the driveway. So now he was in the backyard throwing pebbles at Steve’s bedroom window, hoping his folks wouldn’t hear. Billy sniffled in the cold, his nose was running a bit. He stared at the window hoping a curtain would move and Steve would wave at him. Billy threw a second pebble and heard the satisfying click as it hit the window with a little too much force.

He heard the sliding glass door open, and looked over seeing Steve smiling at him as he walked over.

“Hey.” Steve said.

“Hey.” Billy nodded.

Billy wondered if Steve was still thinking about Valentine’s Day, if he was going to keep treating Billy like a ‘normal’ person after his confession that his crush is a dude.

“I thought you’d get here sooner.” Steve said.

“I had some things to take care of.” Billy replied.

“Yeah. Were you hanging out with your crush?” Steve asked.

“No.” Billy squinted at Steve.

“I was just, you know. I’ve got a plan.” Steve shrugged.

“A plan?”

“Yeah, a plan for your date.”

“Why the hell am I doing this?” Billy asked, he was really asking himself, why he was being such a coward, but Steve had plenty to say on the matter, at least on the subject of Valentine’s Day.

“Because, it’s Valentine’s Day and you’re going to go out, with this guy, and he’s going to realize that the hottest guy in Hawkins is into him, and he’s going to lose his mind.” Steve said, he shrugged and put a cigarette in his lips. “Trust me.” He said around the cigarette.

“ The hottest guy in Hawkins?” Billy barked a laugh.

“Hell yes.” Steve nodded.

“I’m not doing this, it’s so corny.” Billy shook his head.

Billy needed to tell Steve the truth, that Steve was his crush, but the words wouldn’t come, he couldn’t risk destroying their friendship.

“Come on Billy.” Steve offered Billy a cigarette, which he accepted.

“Hottest guy in Hawkins, not anymore.” Billy grumbled as he lit his cigarette.

“Well, I mean, I think we’re kind of equals, in that respect.” Steve popped his collar and smiled when he caught Billy smirking.

“But you know, people like a man of mystery, a bad boy, a guy that’s got some secret history. Guys from California, you know… It’s hot.” Steve encouraged.

“I’m not going on this date.” Billy said before taking a drag off his smoke.

“Let me tell you my plan, and then you can decide.” Steve said.

“Tell me your plan.” Billy rolled his eyes.

“Well not yet, you need to come inside, we’re going to need to take notes.” Steve said.

“Notes?” Billy asked.

“Yeah, notes. You don’t do a romantic date all willy-nilly.”

“Willy-Nilly? You sound like a geriatric.” Billy shook his head.

“Stick and stones, Hargrove. Your words mean nothing.” Steve said.

“Fine. I’ll hear your plan, but I’m not agreeing to do it, not yet.” Billy sighed.

“I’ll take not yet, I can work with not yet.” Steve winked at Billy.

Billy groaned and looked up at the sky, but really he was groaning and looking away because Steve winking at him conspiratorially, was just kind of wonderful.

They finished smoking and went into the house, they snuck up the stairs like a pair of thieves, trying to be silent and not disturb Steve’s parents. They made it to Steve’s room without being seen. Steve closed the door silently and grabbed a spiral bound notebook off his desk and sat on his bed. Billy hesitated, but when Steve scooted over and patted the mattress Billy climbed up beside him. He hadn’t forgotten that he’d just slept in the bed with Steve the night before, but that had been different, they’d both been high.

Steve flipped open his notebook and clicked his ballpoint pen several times.

“Okay. So you’re going to tell him to meet you at the quarry.” Steve said.

“The quarry?” Billy asked.

“Sure, it’ll be quiet, most people go to the lakes for making out and shit like that.”

“So. I’m going to walk to the quarry and wait for, him, my crush to meet me there… sounds great.” Billy said sarcastically.

“He’ll be there.” Steve said.

“How do you know?”

“If he’s got half a brain he’ll show up.” Steve said.

“So then what?”

“Well. I’ll go with you, so you don’t have to walk and we’re going to set up a picnic.”

“For a dude?”

“Well, not like a fancy bullshit picnic, like you know, a little beer, a little whiskey. I’ll loan you my boombox.”

“Here I was getting all geared up to go to the florist and the Melvald’s for chocolates.”

“No, no, no, well I was going to suggest flowers, but maybe he’s not that kind of guy. So what does he like?”

“I don’t know, cars, uh, shitty music,Nikes.” Billy puffed out a breath of air, he wondered what Steve liked, he liked comedies, and his BMW, and okay music.

“Not a lot to work with, Hargrove.” Steve said tapping his pen on the top of the notebook.

“I don’t even want to do this.” Billy grumbled.

“Okay, what makes you happy?”

“Getting my dick sucked.” Billy said.

Steve barked a laugh and nodded, “That’s a good start, let’s see… uh, I bet he likes that too.”

“I’m not doing this, even if you promise I’ll get my dick sucked. I’m not doing this.” Billy rubbed his palms over his face.

“If you play your cards right and do what I’m telling you to do, I think you’ll get your dick sucked.” Steve said.

“If you say I’ll get my dick sucked…” Billy said thoughtfully.

“I mean, what kind of asshole wouldn’t suck your dick after you go to all the trouble of getting him drunk by the quarry.” Steve said matter of factly.

“It’s going to be freezing.” Billy was smiling, he couldn’t believe they were having this conversation.

“No it’s not, you’re building a fire.” Steve pointed at Billy with the pen and then clicked it several times before circling a note that said “Fire”, with a flourish.

“I’m building a fire?” Billy snorted.

“Yeah, it’s here in the plan.” Steve pointed at his notes.

“Okay, tell me the whole plan.”

“Yes!” Steve smiled brightly.

Steve leaned back on the headboard, he scooted over and Billy moved to sit beside him, both of them with their backs rested against the headboard, their heads leaning close over the notebook. Billy half listened to Steve ramble excitedly about his plan, it was pretty simple but Steve was clearly pleased with himself.

“I’m going to help you set up everything. I promise not to hang out too long, like you can tell me to leave whenever you think I should. I could hang out, you know… till he comes. He drives a car right?”

“Yep.” Billy nodded.

“Okay, so I could even hang out, you know like around the bend and keep an eye out for him. He won’t even notice my car, I know the perfect place to hide so he can’t see me from the road, but, only if you want me to.”

“Maybe.” Billy said.

“So you’ll do it?” Steve asked, his dark eyes searching Billy’s.

“Sure.” Billy agreed.

“He must be, pretty cool. Where’d you meet him?”

“A party.”

“When?”

“I don’t know, shortly after I moved here.” Billy looked down at his hands.

“Oh. At whose house?”

“Tina’s.”

“Tina… was he at the Halloween party?”

“Yeah.” Billy said feeling a little anxious.

“And you’ve talked to him, recently?” Steve pressed.

“Yeah, I said so, didn’t I?” Billy knew he sounded defensive.

“Yeah. I think so. I don’t know. I was pretty high last night.” Steve looked at the notebook paper and sighed.

“Me too.” Billy said.

“Are you hungry?” Steve asked, wanting Billy to stay.

“No.”

“Do you want something to drink?” Steve asked.

“Sure.” Billy said.

“Okay, I’ll be right back. Sit tight.” Steve slid off the bed and stepped out of his sneakers before walking out of the room.

“You’re…” Billy started to say, _you’re my crush_ , but he couldn’t. Steve had turned back, he was halfway out the door but looking over his shoulder in the way that made Billy want to kiss him.

“A good friend.” Billy said, and hated himself for it.

“Thanks. You too.” Steve turned and stepped out of the door, shutting it gently behind himself.

Billy unlaced his boots and pulled them off, he shifted back to his spot on the bed, he turned his head and leaned into one of Steve’s pillows, it smelled his his shampoo. Billy slid open the drawer of the bedside table and looked at its contents, he grabbed Steve’s journal for the second time and flipped through it, and found Robert Crawford, Robert’s address was scratched out, but he’d been local, his number was there, one said home next to it, the other said simply ‘dorm’. Billy wondered if Steve really was out of touch with him.

Billy heard the door open and he dropped the journal in the drawer and slid it shut in one quick motion.

“Hope whiskey and coke is alright.” Steve said.

“Fine.” Billy said, feeling a little anxious.

As far as Billy could tell Steve hadn’t noticed he’d been snooping.

“Are you okay?” Steve asked.

“Fine.” Billy muttered accepting the glass that Steve held out to him.

“Okay.” Steve said slowly, and then touched his glass to Billy’s, “Cheers.” Steve said.

“Cheers.” Billy said and took several gulps.

Billy didn’t drink much anymore, but he was thankful for the drink, the sweet coke and warm whiskey slipped down his throat and into his belly. He took another long drink watching Steve set down the bottle of whiskey and a couple cans of coke on top of the bedside table. Billy scooted over and Steve sat up next to him.

“Are you nervous?” Steve asked.

“No.” Billy said, but he was nervous, not about the date, just about being there with Steve, it felt like things had changed. He tried to convince himself that nothing had changed, nothing was different.But things were different, he’d told him, he’d told Steve that he liked a guy… and Steve liked men too. Billy took another drink and chewed on an ice cube.

“Cool, cool.” Steve muttered as he sipped from his glass.

Billy adjusted the hood on his sweater and looked up at the ceiling, he thought maybe he should just spit it out and tell Steve he was one Billy wanted. Billy cleared his throat trying to find the right words.

“You can stay tonight, if you want. But if you want to go home, I’ll drive you.” Steve reached over and nearly pulled on Billy’s sleeve but thought better of it and just smoothed the blanket they were sitting on.

“Thanks.” Billy said.

“So this guy, he’s what, our age?” Steve fished for more information.

“Yeah.” Billy said.

“You really like him, don’t you?”

“I do.” Billy sighed.

“We don’t have to talk about him, if you don’t want to.” Steve said quietly.

“I just… I don’t know what to say.” Billy paused and reached over to the bottle and topped off his dwindling drink. “He’s a good person, and he’s hot, and I…” Billy screwed his eyes shut.

Billy could feel Steve watching him.

“I want him to know I like him.” Billy finished.

“That’s good, that’s exactly what you’re going to do. You’re gonna lay the cards on the table.” Steve said.

“Show my hand.” Billy mumbled.

“Look man, he’s gonna be stoked, he’s going to be so into you. I bet he already is, I mean you’re spending time with him right?”

“Yeah.”

“Does he do things, like kind of, you know, just do things?”

“Like what?” Billy frowned.

“I don’t know, like show that he wants you around.”

“Sure, I guess.”

“Okay. Okay. Good. That’s good.” Steve nodded.

Steve picked up the whiskey bottle and topped off both of their drinks, “Here’s to Valentine’s Day, and getting your dick sucked.”

Billy smiled, his mouth quirked into a lopsided grin, “Shit, cheers to that.”

Steve tapped his glass to Billy’s and took a long drink, draining the glass, leaving nothing but the melting ice cubes in the glass. He smiled but felt a pang of jealousy.

“Let’s watch a movie.” Steve suggested.

“Sure.” Billy said, not really in the mood to watch a movie, but thankful to take a break from the subject of Valentine’s Day.

Steve put a copy of Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark in the VCR and sat down next to Billy.

“Do you watch a movie every night?”

“Well, no… wait” Steve paused. “I mean I watch films because it’s free, one of the perks of being at Family Video, maybe the only perk.”

Billy nodded watching Steve in his periphery.

“I mean, it’s not like I’m super busy, you know… I’ve been single for a long time, so not a lot of dates. I’m not seeing anyone. Single. Very single. Like no dates, at all.”

“Why not?” Billy didn’t believe him, there were always chicks coming into the video shop and hanging around chatting with Steve, laughing at his jokes, twirling their hair. Billy snorted, he was always hanging around too.

“I don’t know man, it’s a small town, everyone has dated everyone else, it’s kind of incestuous.”

“You should move.”

“Right. Yeah, my dad thinks so too.”

“He’s not throwing you out.” Billy stated.

“No, my mom won’t let him.” Steve chuckled mirthlessly.

************************

Billy sipped from his glass, he thought about coming home from the hospital. The weeks of slow recovery, the constant pain. He remembered walking into Family Video for the first time, it had been a day of firsts. First time he’d driven Susan’s car to take Max into town. First time eating at the diner since July, before the world went to shit.

Max had a handful of videos to return and she’d insisted that Billy come in and pick a movie with her. He hadn’t wanted to, he hated going into town, hated being seen. He hated the November cold. He hated that he could feel people’s eyes crawling all over him, but he felt he owed it to her. He’d told himself to just go in there and pick something, if it would make her happy, then he was going to do it.

When he’d walked in his heart had been pounding like he was running a marathon, his hands had started shaking and he’d shoved his fists in the pouch of his hoodie. He’d walked over to a random display, careful not to look up at anyone that walked by, making sure to keep at least a yard from anyone browsing an aisle.

He stared at the movies but found it impossible to focus on any of the titles.

“Hey.” Steve’s voice had been instantly recognizable. Billy turned his head his eyes casted down at the floor, and he saw the tops of Steve’s sneakers.

“It’s been a long time. I uh, it’s good to see you.” Steve was speaking softly, and there was no doubting his sincerity.

Billy had turned and looked at Steve, he was the first person that Billy had actually wanted to look in the eyes since returning to Hawkins. Billy had stared at Steve mutely, his heart flopped, and his guts twisted. Billy grabbed a video off the shelf and handed it to Steve, not knowing what else to do. Billy watched as Steve look down at the box his eyebrows raising and a smile crossing his face.

“Krull! Nice choice. Have you seen this?”

Billy shook his head no.

“It’s rad, I mean, it’s weird, but yeah. It’s good.” Steve smiled again at Billy.

Max had come over and started chatting with Steve, her mannerisms were easy and she was clearly excited that she’d managed to get Billy out, but Billy couldn’t follow the thread of her words, all he could think was that he was glad Steve was alive, that Steve didn’t seem to hate him, even though he had every right too. Those thoughts were quickly followed by a mental note of the day and time, Billy would be back, and he’d be back when Steve was there.

************************

Steve watched Billy’s face in the flickering TV light, he could tell Billy wasn’t watching the movie. Steve had gotten accustomed to Billy getting that far away look, but he wished Billy was more present, at least right then, while they were sitting alone in his room.

“Who am I going to hang out with when you get with your guy?” Steve asked softly.

“What?” Billy shook his head and looked at Steve.

“Nothing, just thinking aloud.”

“What did you ask me?”

“I just hope that, when you get your guy, you don’t vanish.”

“I won’t.” Billy said.

“You’re gonna get him.”

“Yeah?” Billy leaned back turning to look at Steve. “Why are so sure?”

“I have good instincts.”

“So much bullshit coming out of your mouth right now.”

Steve shook his head. He didn’t have to say as much, but Billy could tell he’d hurt Steve’s feelings.

“I won’t ditch you Harrington.” Billy said.

“Better not, dick-wad.” Steve said petulantly.

“I won’t.” Billy snorted a laugh.

Billy wasn’t sure when he’d fallen asleep, if it had been because he was constantly fatigued since the summer, or if it was because the whiskey had knocked him out. He came to when he felt Steve gently pulling the blankets over him. Billy watched through his lashes as Steve stood by his closet and stripped down to his boxers. Billy tried to count the moles on Steve’s back, he idly wondered if they tasted like chocolate chips and laughed softly.

Steve turned his head and smiled at Billy, “What are you laughing at.”

“I don’t know, I’m just buzzed.”

“Yeah, me too, whiskey makes me hot.” Steve crawled up the bed and got in next to Billy, leaving a space between them.

Billy wished that Steve wouldn’t be so considerate for once. Not for the first time, Billy thought it wouldn’t be so bad if Steve touched him.

**The Set Up**

**Part 6**

Billy stood staring at his refection in the mirror. He looked pale. He smiled, and winked, licked his lips.

“So, you, it’s…” He shook his head and drew a deep breath.

He grabbed his shirt off its hanger, it was a long sleeve button down, royal blue. When he’d bought it, it had been tight on him, now it was a little loose, but it was the nicest shirt he owned. Billy shrugged into his shirt, pulling it on over a long sleeve thermal shirt, it wasn’t as baggy looking as he’d been afraid it would. He put on his black hoodie over that, and his leather jacket over that.

He no longer hated being bundled and covered, it was his armor now. Something to keep his raw nerves covered. He felt like a peeled turtle, exposed and on his back, defenseless and frightened. He hated feeling weak, damaged… He didn’t feel that way when he was around Steve, around Steve he felt important, he felt like he mattered, and like Steve had his back.

Billy took a slow breath and tried to focus on getting ready. He took another deep breath and then another and another, he sat on the floor, he could feel a panic attack rising like a shadow, draining all the color and hope out of his world. The phone rang and he nearly rolled under his bed. He grabbed it with a shaking hand, he never answered the phone these days, but no one else was home and he needed the noise to stop. He pressed the phone to his ear and managed a low guttural sound.

“Hello?” Steve’s voice traveled through the wires like a lifeline.

“I’ve got everything ready. Are you, you’re okay right? I am going to be there in half an hour.”

“Okay.”

“Billy, is everything alright? Did you tell him to meet you?”

“Yeah, he’ll be there.”

“Rad.” Steve said.

“Totally.” Billy said as he pressed his palm over his face.

“Did you make your mixed tape?” Steve asked excitedly.

“Yep.”

“Both sides, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool, alright. I’ll see you soon.”

“Yeah.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I swear to god Harrington, if you ask me that one more time I will cancel.”

“Okay, okay, bye!”

“Bye.” Billy hung up the phone and got on his feet. He was going to do this, he was going to do it for Steve. He grabbed his cologne and splashed some on his palms, his hands were shaking lightly but he went about getting ready with determination. He wasn’t going to let Steve down, although he was more than ready for Steve to let him down, and probably gently, but it was going to hurt like hell.

“Man up, Hargrove.” He said to his reflection.

************************

Billy watched from the window as Steve pulled over, arriving right on time. Billy had been ready for what felt like an eternity, he hated waiting. Billy walked out of the house and went around the front of the car, squinting in the headlights. It was already getting dark, and although it wasn’t snowing, it was cold and he could see his breath streaming out in a cloud when he sighed. He got in the car and Steve turned down the stereo.

“You look great.” Steve said encouragingly.

“Thanks.”

Billy had a beanie in his hands, he twisted it as he sat back in the passenger seat. He’d not pulled his hood up, even though he wanted to, but he’d spent so much time on his hair, he wanted to look his best for Steve. As soon as Steve pulled out on to the road Billy turned up the stereo, he didn’t want Steve to start talking, he hoped the music would discourage any conversation.

Steve glanced over at Billy several times as he was driving, the scent of Billy’s cologne had filled the car, not unpleasantly so. Billy had a black knit beanie in his hands and he kept twisting in and turning it inside out, and then folding it in half. Steve could tell he was nervous, it was making Steve nervous too.

They parked near the quarry and just as Steve had promised there were no cars around.

“Did you give him the map, the one I drew?”

“Yep.” Billy got out of the car and looked around.

Steve got out and popped the trunk, “Let’s set the scene!”

He held out a boom box and Billy took it, then handed him a heavy wool blanket, followed by a pair of throw pillows.

“Pillows?” Billy scoffed.

“Yeah, you know. You want him to be comfortable.”

“You’re insane.”

“I get that from time to time, I’m just being your wingman here.”

“More like a wing-nut.” Billy grumbled.

Steve hefted up a bundle of wood and a backpack that looked heavy.

“Let’s walk.” Steve said as he slammed the trunk shut.

“How far is it?” Billy asked.

“So close, it’s perfect.” Steve walked ahead.

“You’ve been here before?”

“Yeah, but not on a date.” Steve glanced over at Billy, “I’d kind of thought about bringing dates here over the years you know, it’s never worked out though.” Steve stopped about in a small open space only twenty or so feet from where he’d parked and set down his load. “I think I wanted it to be someone special. I’ll be right back.”

Billy watched Steve dash back towards his car. He looked at the view of the quarry below, and by chance the winter clouds had cleared and he could see stars on the surface of the quarry lake. He looked all around and had to admit that it was a romantic spot. Peaceful and wild, remote enough from town and covered enough by the sparse trees to feel enclosed. He looked up at the brittle branches, a few stubborn leaves still clinging. The moon was up, three quarters full and silvery.

Steve came back with a shovel and started digging like a maniac.

“What are you doing?”

“Fire pit, I just need to get like half a foot down. Grab some stones.”

“Like these?” Billy grabbed his balls and stuck out his tongue.

“Helpful, very helpful.” Steve shook his head and laughed.

Billy smiled, he felt a little like his old self for brief moment and hoped that it would see him through the night. He collected stones for the ring of the fire pit Steve was working on.

“The ground is surprisingly soft here, must be all the layers of pine needles, they keep the moisture in the soil. ” Steve rambled as he placed the stones in a ring around the shallow hole he’d just dug.

“Nerd.” Billy muttered.

Steve looked at Billy and shrugged, he walked over and grabbed the blanket they’d brought. It was a heavy woolen thing, it looked ancient to Billy. Billy stepped back watching Steve unfurl the blanket and then toss the pillows down. Steve unpacked his back pack, there was a six pack and half empty bottle of whiskey.

“You brought the tape right?”

Billy pulled a tape out of his pocket and tossed it at Steve. Steve shook it at Billy, and kissed the tape. “This is going to be the soundtrack to your night!”

Billy snorted and looked away. He heard the tape start to play, Duran Duran’s Hungry Like the Wolf started playing.

“You said he had bad taste in music, this is great. He’s got great taste in music.”

“It’s not terrible.” Billy smirked.

“Let’s get this fire started.”Steve set the kindling down and tossed a starter log in, he crumbled newspapers.

“You’re a regular boy-scout.” Billy teased.

“I was _never_ a boy-scout.” Steve said.

Steve set his lighter to the paper and crouched fussing with the stones that were now circling his makeshift fire pit. Billy hung back watching, his heart was beating fast. Billy grabbed the whiskey bottle and twisted the cap off, he took several long gulps.

“You’re going to a lot of trouble.” Billy said before taking another drink.

“It’s no trouble.” Steve said.

Billy paced and took another drink. Steve walked over and took the bottle from Billy’s hand.

“Save some for your date. Are you ever going to tell me this guys name?”

“Maybe when you stop asking.” Billy said, “Have a drink.”

Steve looked at the bottle and shrugged, and took a long drink. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He nodded at the fire.

“Should last at least two hours,” Steve glanced at his watch, “You told him Seven-thirty, right?”

“Yeah.”

“I better get going.”

“Wait.”

“You don’t want me to be here when he arrives do you?”

“No?” Billy wasn’t sure how to explain things now, he’d let it go too far.

“It’s a quarter past seven.” Steve took another drink.

“Don’t go.” Billy said.

“Hey, don’t be nervous.”

“I’m not.”

“I’ll be right up the road. I’ll wait there, okay? I’ll just listen to music or take a nap.”

Billy looked at Steve, he had to tell him, he had to tell him no one was coming, that Steve was his crush.

“I need to practice.” Billy blurted.

“What?” Steve asked.

“Practice.” Billy repeated.

“Doing what?” Steve asked.

Billy stepped forward and took the bottle from Steve and took a drink and handed it back to him. Steve took it, and took a sip, his eyes darting left and right.

“Practice, kissing.” Billy said softly.

“Oh.” Steve swallowed.

Steve wiped his mouth then took another drink, his mouth felt incredibly dry all of sudden.

“I haven’t kissed anyone since before…” Billy’s voice was barely above a whisper.

Steve licked his lips nervously and looked at the fire, it had grown bright and the heat was seeping through his jeans, chasing the cold away. He glanced up at the tree branches laced over their heads, it really was a nice little spot, he thought abstractedly.

“We could practice.” Steve shrugged.

Billy tucked his chin and then lifted his eyes to Steve’s. It wasn’t hard to look at Steve, the problem was it was hard to not look at Steve. Billy could stare at Steve for the rest of his life and still feel like he’d not looked at him enough.

Steve crouched and set the bottle down. He stood facing Billy and had no idea what to do with his hands, he shoved them in his pockets and nodded at Billy.

Billy moved closer. He took another step closer, only a few inches of space remaining between them. He swallowed and looked at Steve’s lips. They were parted just a fraction. Billy could see Steve’s chest rising and falling quickly. Billy reached up, and touched the air near Steve’s cheek and closed his eyes and rested his hand on Steve’s cheek. He felt the his soft skin. Billy pressed his finger tips into Steve’s hair, gently over his ear. Billy could feel Steve trembling. Billy opened his eyes, Steve was looking at BIlly’s mouth. Billy leaned in and kissed Steve’s lips gently. He rested his other hand on Steve’s shoulder and squeezed, and kissed him again. Steve’s lips parted easily and Billy pressed his lips into the kiss. The worry and confusion of the mechanics of kissing fell away from Billy’s mind and he parted his lips and pressed his tongue between Steve’s lips.

Steve’s hands lighted on Billy’s arms, and then lifted, his fingers fluttered down again, he slowly squeezed Billy’s biceps, holding on with great care.Steve murmured into the kiss, he felt Billy’s hand slide deeper into Steve’s hair, Billy’s strong fingers gripping. Steve felt his knees go weak and he leaned into Billy.

Billy wrapped his arms around Steve and held him close, he squeezed Steve tightly. Billy wanted Steve to know, that he wasn’t broken, the Shadow hadn’t made him fragile, he wasn’t going to break.

Steve gave into his desire, he wrapped one arm around Billy’s neck, he dug his long fingers into the wild curls flowing down Billy’s neck and gripped tightly. Steve rested his opposite hand on Billy’s hip and pulled him closer so their hips were flush against one another’s and moaned with pleasure. Steve heard Billy grunt and felt Billy’s teeth catch his bottom lip, but instead of breaking the kiss Billy came back in for more, his tongue snaked in aggressively. Billy’s hands went down to Steve’s ass and gripped, his hands were like a vice, and Steve squeaked.

“Did I hurt you?” Billy asked, his voice husky.

“No, no.” Steve shook his head, and pulled Billy in again for more kisses, his fingers fisted at the nape of Billy’s neck tightly in his golden coils, his other hand kneading Billy’s hip.

Steve’s wristwatch beeped, several little chirps alerting him that it was five minutes until Billy’s date was due to arrive. Steve squeezed Billy tightly and pulled from the kiss.

“I better go. Your date’s going is to be here any minute.” Steve said breathlessly.

“No.” Billy said and pulled Steve back into another kiss.

Steve held onto Billy, not wanting to go, hoping his stupid date would show up and see them making out. He felt selfish and didn’t care. He ran his hands up Billy’s chest and unzipped his leather jacket, and then unzipped Billy’s hoodie, he pressed his hands over the smooth cotton fabric of Billy’s blue button down shirt. He pressed his thumbs over Billy’s chest, rubbing back and forth till Billy’s nipples were hard beneath the layers of fabric.

Steve pulled from the kiss, but he kept his hands on Billy’s chest.

“Your date.” Steve said.

“There’s no one.” Billy mumbled before kissing Steve again.

“What?” Steve shook his head.

“You’re my crush. You, Steve.” Billy said.

“What?” Steve looked at Billy with his eyes wide.

“I… like you Steve, I… you’re the only one I want.” Billy hung his head.

“I can’t believe this.” Steve said.

“Don’t be mad. Please.” Billy whispered.

Steve grasped Billy’s face and kissed him.

“You liar.” Steve said and kissed Billy again. “You, you…”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m,” Billy pulled back, but Steve reeled him in and kissed him again, cutting him off.

Billy kissed Steve and wrapped his arms around him tightly, baffled and feeling desperate.

“I don’t want you to be sorry. I just want to be your Valentine.” Steve said.

“Yeah?” Billy asked.

“Yeah.” Steve said.

Billy smiled, he didn’t know what to say, or what to do, so he just kissed Steve, and he could feel Steve smiling, and then he was smiling, and there was no way to actually kiss, so he just pressed his temple to Steve’s, and grinned like a fool in love.

They stood by the fire, standing close, sharing the air between them, a circle of dancing light from the glowing fire encircled them in an island of warmth.  
  
“Well, we can’t let this picnic go to waste.” Steve said, as he grasped Billy’s hand and drew him towards the blanket and pillows.

They reclined on the blanket, slowly, and then tipped over resting against the pillows that Steve had so thoughtfully brought. Steve pulled Billy into his arms.

“Is this okay?” Steve asked.

Billy nodded. He felt how desperately he’d been wanting to be held, to be embraced, not prodded and poked, not treated like a wounded animal, but like someone worthy of love. If Steve thought he was worth holding onto, then nothing else mattered. 

Steve cupped Billy’s face and kissed him slowly. Billy shivered drew Steve closer.

They made out as they laid by the fire. Pausing to flip the tape, share a beer and look at the stars, before being drawn together again, their lips meeting like magnets, unwilling to be parted. They kissed and embraced in mutual silence until the fire diminished to ash.

“It’s getting cold.” Steve said, as he cuddled Billy closer.

“Do you want to go?” Billy asked, not sure what Steve would say.

“Come home with me?” Steve nudged Billy, and Billy gently head butted him in response.

“Okay.” Billy replied.

**V-Day**

**Part 7**

The boys cleared their little camp site and snuffed the dying embers, Steve drained the whiskey bottle as they clambered into his BMW. Billy took the bottle as they pulled out onto the road and threw it out the window and cackled wildly when it smashed against the rocks by the side of the road.

“Maniac!” Steve laughed as he sped towards home.

Steve reached over and stroked Billy’s thigh, feeling high on booze and the knowledge that there was no rival, that Billy wanted him, and only him.

When they got to the house, only the porch light was on. Steve pulled up in the driveway and parked the car, he leaned over and kissed Billy, who met him half way, leaning over the center console. Billy grabbed hold of Steve’s collar and they kissed till they were breathless. When Billy pulled back from the kiss his eyes dropped to Steve’s crotch and he could see that Steve was hard. Billy licked his lips and kissed Steve again and ran his hand over the taught denim of Steve’s jeans, rubbing his palm along Steve’s rigid cock though the fabric, he could feel the heat of it bleeding through the fabric, stroking Steve through his jeans turned Billy on. He bit and kissed the Side of Steve’s neck, wondering what it would feel like to have Steve’s cock deep inside.

“Oh shit.” Steve said leaning back.

Billy pulled his hand away, Steve grabbed Billy’s wrist and put Billy’s hand back where it had been.

“No don’t stop.” Steve gasped.

Steve reached down and unbuckled his belt, yanked his fly open and reached in and pulled his cock out with a soft sigh of pleasure. Steve leaned into Billy’s waiting lips.

Steve stroked himself and lifted his hips when he felt Billy’s hands entangle with his own.

“Billy… baby, oh, baby.” Steve babbled feeling Billy work his aching cock.

“Baby?” Billy teased.

“Oh fuck, oh…” Steve pulled Billy closer, grasping onto his jacket aggressively.

Billy’s already swollen cock gave a kick of desire, he grunted and kissed Steve’s jaw, missing his lips, but chewed down the side of his neck, biting and sucking. Billy stroked Steve, working up heat and friction, rolling his hips, feeling own cock strain in his jeans, hungry for contact.

Steve slapped his palm to the roof of the car, and leaned his head back.

Billy pressed his mouth hungrily over that one vein that always tempted him, he pressed his tongue up the side of Steve’s neck and bit again.

Steve gasped, a cry escaping his lips that was a fusion of pleasure and pain.

Billy reached up and turned Steve’s face by his jaw, pressing his mouth over Steve’s.Billy kissed Steve, he moaned into the kiss, he kept one hand around Steve’s cock and pressed his other hand down the front of his own jeans and started jerking his cock.

The pair of them fumbled and pulled at one another until Billy was straddling Steve’s lap.

Steve eagerly unzipped Billy’s jeans and grabbed hold of Billy’s cock, he wrapped his fist around Billy stroking and squeezing with just the right amount of pressure and friction.

“Kiss me.” Steve demanded, his head was tilted back, he was panting.

Billy kissed Steve, wet and sloppy, dragged his teeth over Steve’s jaw, and bit the front of his throat making Steve cry out again. Billy felt Steve’s hips lift, and grind, pumping desperately into Billy’s fist. Steve’s hand was working Billy’s cock. Billy growled into Steve’s neck, flushed and sweating, not sure where either of them ended or began, they were just tangled and drunk with desire, the BMW windows were fogged and sweating with the heat that was radiating off the pair of them.

Steve leaned Billy back, the car horn blared when Billy’s back hit it and Steve pulled him forward quickly, one hand working his cock, the other wrapped tightly around his waist.

“Shit.” Steve hissed the curse and then kissed Billy, they tumbled sideways, and Billy swore this time, the parking break was stabbing him in the back. He grabbed Steve by the hair trying to haul himself up bu the back of his neck.

Steve understood, or at least realized that Billy wanted up so he lifted him into his arms and back on his lap. Steve kissed Billy slower this time, he explored Billy’s tongue, feeling the pressure of it against his own, pressing his lips against Billy’s, feeling the give and heat of his mouth.

Billy closed his eyes tightly, his hand still stroking slowed. Steve was making him dizzy with his tender deep kisses. Billy hummed with pleasure into Steve’s mouth. 

Steve spilled over BIlly’s knuckles and god knew where else. The sensation of it, tipped Billy over the edge and he felt his body release, he spilled, and felt Steve stroking him, steadily, draining him dry. Steve’s breath was hot against Billy’s neck, Steve’s other hand was sliding up and down Billy’s back, idly petting him, soothing him and exciting him at the same time.

“ _Shit_.” Billy cursed in a soft laugh.

“I’m sorry.” Steve mumbled kissing Billy.

Steve wasn’t sure why he was sorry at first. But he quickly realized he was worried he’d pushed things too far and too fast. Steve pressed his temple to Billy’s, he kissed the scar on Billy’s right cheek, the king was soft, the scar tissue raised like a red thumb print. Steve kissed it again, touched it with the tip of his tongue.

“Don’t be, I just creamed your pants.” Billy laughed again, smiling at Steve.

“I love that smile.” Steve said as he stroked Billy’s cheek.

“Shut up.” Billy tucked his chin still smiling.

“No. I do, you always hide it. Don’t, I love it, I need it.” Steve said as he lifted Billy’s chin and looked into his eyes.

“You need it?” Billy asked nuzzling into Steve’s neck.

“I need you.” Steve replied feeling dizzy from Billy’s attention.

“I need you too.” Billy whispered into Steve’s neck.

They disentangled themselves from one another, and rearranged their clothing. After a few fumbles with the house keys, Steve and Billy entered the silent house.They stumbled up the stairs, buzzed on whiskey and drunk on love making. Steve turned to Billy, and placed his index finger over his lips, signaling that they needed to be quiet. Billy nodded and smirked, feeling giddy and went into Steve’s room.

Billy threw himself on the bed, he’d never done that before, and it felt just as great as he’d thought it would. The plush comforter and soft mattress did not disappoint, the bed made for the perfect landing pad. He turned on his back watching Steve in the doorway, a dim night light was glowing in the hallway, Steve was silhouette, his hair sprouting wildly in all directions. He was shrugging out of his jacket.

Steve shut the door, holding the knob so the door wouldn’t click as he locked it shut. He took off his sweater, and then his t-shirt under that, he crawled onto the bed and laid down beside Billy.

Billy sat up and pulled off his jacket, hoodie and button down shirt, but remained in his thermal undershirt, suddenly feeling shy about his scars.

Steve reached over and pulled Billy close.

“We don’t have to do anything. I just want you here. Is this okay?” Steve asked as he squeezed Billy.

“Yeah.” Billy nodded and let himself rest his head in the crook of Steve’s neck.

Billy felt his eyes growing heavy, he didn’t want to sleep, he didn’t want to miss out on the best moment of his life, but his body had other plans. Billy felt his lids drop heavily, he forced his eyes opened, and blinked rapidly.

Steve ran his hand over Billy’s back, gently stroking. Steve turned off the bedside lamp and they laid in the comfortable cocoon of Steve’s room, with only a bit of moon light cutting through the blinds to dimly light the room.

“Are you sleeping, Valentine?” Steve asked in a whisper.

“No…” Billy mumbled in reply.

“I just gotta tell you, this was the best Valentine’s Day of my life.” Steve said.

“Happy V-Day.” Billy said, and kissed Steve’s neck, “Mine too."

**Love Bites**

**Part 8**

Robin walked into work with Heart’s song _Barracuda_ playing in her head. She went to the register and started counting out the deposit, her head bobbing along to the music playing in her head. She had to start over three times because she kept getting distracted thinking about Margaret and the night they’d shared together.

“Good morning, Smiley Girl.” Steve said as he walked through the door, ten minutes late.

“You’re late.” Robin said smiling broadly.

“Time is a construct.” Steve replied casually throwing Robin’s own words in her face as he walked over to the counter.

“Why did I ever say tell you that?” Robin rolled her eyes.

Steve picked up a rubber-band that was on the counter, he twisted it around his fingers, lost in his own thoughts.

“What are _you_ grinning about?” Robin asked looking at Steve.

“Who’s grinning?” Steve smiled broadly and shot her with the rubber-band.

“Hey!” Robin protested, “You’re looking rather happy, this morning.”

“Am I? So are you. How’s your girl Margaret, little Peggy?”

“Ew, Ew Steve, she hates being called Peggy.” Robin looked down at the cash she was counting and had to start over again, “She’s great.”

“I bet.” Steve poked Robin’s shoulder, “Did you give her everything she wanted for Valentine’s Day?”

“We don’t really celebrate these, constructed bullshit holidays, but yeah, I did.” Robin smiled and blushed.

“Oh, oh, I bet you did.” Steve laughed and beamed at his best friend.

Robin turned redder, and shook her head, “It was fucking magical and I’m not going to defile it by giving you the blow by blow, but trust me, it was damn good.”

“Please, please give me the blow by blow.” Steve pulled himself up on the counter and slid across it and dropped to his feet next to Robin.

“Gross, you dirty horn-dog, I’m not telling you anything!” Robin moved back, but couldn’t escape Steve’s reach and he hugged her tightly.

“What are you doing?!” Robin laughed, wrapped up in a hug from Steve, “Get off me, you octopus!”She shoved at Steve and he released her.

“Just, you know, can’t I hug my best friend?” Steve smiled leaning on the counter.

“I guess, just this once.” Robin leaned over and hugged Steve tightly.

“Aww, that’s nice.” Steve embraced Robin back and kissed the top of her head.

“What’s got into you?” Robin asked.

“Nothing, nothing. Can’t I just be happy to see my best friend?” Steve rocked Robin back and forth.

“You weirdo.” Robin smiled.

“The weirdest.” Steve nodded, “Happy day after Valentine’s Day.”

“Thanks, you too.” Robin responded.

Robin gently pushed Steve away and then grabbed hold of his arms.

“What the hell are those?” Robin poked Steve’s neck.

“Hey!” Steve stepped back, but not before Robin landed one more poke on a particularly dark bruise.

“You went on a Valentine’s Day date? Mister, Valentine’s Day is bullshit, corporate, capitalist bullshit, went on a date for Valentine’s Day and got some action?”

“It was an ambush.” Steve explained.

“Oh, I see, and who managed to ambush Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington on Valentine’s Day?” Robin asked.

“I don’t kiss and tell.” Steve said.

“Right, well go flip the sign Mister Mysterious, it’s time to open.” Robin pointed at the front door.

“Yes, boss.” Steve teased as he went around the counter and headed for the front door.

Robin eyed Steve, wondering what girl had managed to ambush him on the holiday he’d been dreading, but didn’t have time to grill him about it because she had too much to do. After thirty minutes the store was crawling with customers, returning videos and browsing and asking her if the Valentine’s Day candy was on clearance yet.

About fifteen minutes before Steve’s lunch break Billy Hargrove ghosted in the front doors, Robin watched him shark around the sales floor, slowly closing the distance between himself and Steve.

Billy wandered up to Steve and Steve lit up like a Christmas tree.

“Hey.” Billy mumbled, his eyes tracking the customers wandering the isles.

“Hey.” Steve responded, he reached over and touched Billy’s shoulder and watched as Billy smiled.

“How are you?” Steve asked, looking around, checking to see if anyone was in close enough to hear their conversation. “Did you sleep okay?”

“Yeah, I woke up and the house was empty. It was weird.” Billy said softly.

“Sorry. I had to leave. I just, I didn’t want to wake you up, you were out cold.” Steve stroked Billy’s arm.

Billy looked at Steve and his eyes traveled down to the purple love bites that trailed down Steve’s neck.

“Oh shit.” Billy snorted, he turned his head away suppressing a laugh.

“I was attacked last night by vicious mosquito.” Steve smirked resting his palm over his love bites.

“Nah, that had to be bigger than a mosquito.” Billy shook his head and played with the drawstrings of his hoodie.

“Maybe, maybe it was a spider?”

“No, bigger.” Billy frowned to hide the smile that was threatening to show off his pearls, he compressed his lips.

Steve snapped his fingers, “How could I forget? A bat, it was a blonde vampire bat.”

“No kidding.” Billy laughed softly.

“Nope, not kidding, it flew in my window and just, attacked me.” Steve shrugged as he kept rubbing the side of his neck.

“Do you think it’ll come back, you know, return to the scene of the crime?” Billy asked and bit his bottom lip looking at Steve’s neck.

“I’m counting on it.” Steve nodded.

“Steve.” Robin called, she pointed at the man coming through the front door, he had a delivery of candy for the front counter. Steve tore himself from Billy’s side and started taking the boxes to the back.

When Robin wasn’t looking Billy slipped into the back room and leaned on the wall watching Steve lift all the boxes and place onto the shelf.

“Bend your knees.” Billy said.

“Oh shit. Jesus. I didn’t hear you come in.” Steve laughed, embarrassed he’d been so distracted, because really he’d just been thinking about Billy, Billy was all he could think about.

“Maybe I really am a ghost.”

“You’re not a ghost.”

“How can you be sure?”

“I don’t think you can kiss. ghost.” Steve reach over and caught Billy’s wrists and slowly reeled him in, he rested Billy’s hands on his shoulders. “Is this okay?”

“Maybe.” Billy teased.

“How about this?” Steve leaned forward and gently kissed Billy’s neck.

“That’s okay.” Billy nodded turning his head.

Steve reached up and pressed his hand into Billy’s hair, beneath the hood of his sweater.

“You know I love you, right?” Steve whispered in Billy’s ear.

“What?” Billy looked at Steve with large blue eyes, his dark lashes fanned out, his lips parted, he looked startled and disbelieving and like a sweet little boy, and man on the edge of hope all at the same time.

“I love you.” Steve said.

“Shut up.” Billy swallowed, his eyes searching Steve’s.

“I love you.” Steve repeated.

“I loved you first.” Billy said furrowing his brows.

Steve smiled and shook his head, “When?”

“When I saw you at Tina’s party.”

“That was forever ago.” Steve marveled.

“You’re telling me.”

“And yet, you tried to kill me.” Steve said.

“I did not.” Billy lowered his head, “If I wanted you dead you’d be very dead.”

“I believe you.” Steve nodded.

“When?” Billy asked.

“When did I fall for you?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t know exactly, it’s just been growing… you know, like right here.” Steve touched his own chest above his heart, “Maybe it really took hold when you came into Family Video, it was like, hey, I know that guy, but not at all… and you were all bundled up, and kind of hidden.” Steve reached up and stroked Billy’s cheek.

“You’re so corny.” Billy scoffed and leaned his cheek into Steve’s palm.

“But you looked at me, “ Steve persisted, “You looked at me like I was the only person in the world you wanted to see, and pretty soon, I felt that way when I saw you. Every goddamned day, I found myself looking for you, hoping you’d come in. It got to be like my stomach was on fire, just waiting, just burning in anticipation of being near you. I was always wondering if when you got better we could play basketball or go on a road trip… I guess I was just falling in love with you, little by little.”

Billy searched Steve’s face, not knowing what to say, he could feel his eyes welling with tears, but then he didn’t have to say anything at all because Steve kissed him, and squeezed him close. They exchanged a string of kisses, holding each other near. Billy couldn’t remember anyone ever being so tender with him.

“When you guys are done making out, you think maybe I can go on my lunch break?” Robin said from the doorway.

Steve looked over, his cheeks flaming red, he half expected Billy to shove him away, but Billy just squeezed him closer.

“Don’t be such a ball-buster, Buckley.” Billy said.

“Oh we’re gonna talk Hargrove, there’s some ground rules we need to discuss when it come to you dating my best friend.” Robin smiled and winked at Steve before ducking out of the stock room.

“She’s cool.” Billy said.

“Yeah, she’s the best.” Steve nodded, he noticed that Billy was blushing too. “You’re real cute when you blush.”

“I hate you.” Billy mumbled, blushing more.

“No, you don’t. You already told me you love me.” Steve smiled.

“I’m taking it back.” Billy frowned, but his eyes were still dancing with mirth.

“No taksies-backsies.” Steve said.

Billy groaned in response, but smiled when Steve silenced him with a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


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